26th of August, 2024
If you’ve raised teenagers, or have memories of being one yourself, you understand the challenges 13-to-16-year-olds can face. Put family violence into that mix and young people can be left struggling to make sense of their world.
Our ten-week youth programme, He Pito Mata ('Awakening Potential'), is doing some great work with rangatahi who have experienced family violence or may be at risk of using harm themselves. It’s all about positive change and awakening potential.
Working in the youth space takes special skills – not least of all is the ability to have fun. It may sound counterintuitive when such big topics are on the table, but He Pito Mata group facilitator, Dylan explains, “You can’t sit young people down and talk ‘at’ them for two hours. It’s got to be enjoyable, or young people simply won’t engage, and they certainly won’t come back!”
The programme uses games, art, relationship building, and team building to create a relaxed, interactive learning environment where young people can be themselves. Facilitators support the group to set boundaries for non-violent communication within the group. For some, this is their first experience of boundary setting.
Conversations around safety planning and self-care create space for young people to share stories and experiences, “Hearing stories from your peers who have gone through similar things gives context to a young person’s own experience. They realise they’re not alone. That’s a big shift for a lot of people,” says co-facilitator Cynthia.
Relationships are important to young people; there’s lots of discussion about what makes one good or not – what defines harmful behaviours, physically and emotionally, and what it feels like to be hurt or to hurt someone.
“If violence has been normalised as an acceptable way for a family member to get what they want, then just realising it’s not ok can really challenge a person’s world,” says Dylan.
“Teens often arrive with complex needs like social anxiety, stemming from generational family violence. We work with them, slowly building a relationship at a pace that’s led by them. The highlights are when they get excited and proud to share their stories of how they’ve managed to communicate boundaries successfully.
“It’s exciting to see changes begin. There are still good and bad days of course, but on the bad days they’ve got more tools for self-care; they can either redirect themselves into a different activity or space or seek connection with friends and peers with whom they feel safe.
“When young people leave the programme feeling more capable, with more tools and skills to navigate their world than when they arrived – that’s a big win. It’s all building blocks. We can’t change everything overnight, but we can make a difference, and that’s what He Pito Mata is doing with youth – awakening potential.”